Day Three

Back at apartment after long day. Jace is a lost soul standing at the window. E and K now have to look after him. Nurse E and K. Jace is now in shower.
Good day. K was fuming in the AM because of noisey nights and K needs approx 13 hours of sleep to function. N had a breakdown and cried over a cocktail. Classic N. We then witnessed an angry man (Blue) trying to kick down the I Am Amsterdam sign, then he was throwing himself at the railings. Luckily for us he was on our tram and started up a conversation about football. We were startled when he got off at our stop and asked N for "an appointment". We ran away saying we had to meet someone.
Jace is in bed I think. Oh he just appeared in his boxers and K questioned whether he was naked. His hands were inside the boxers..

Anne Frank is now living through Ks hair. We went to the Red Light last night but Jace stayed in bed having a nap and snacks and kept lying saying he was feeling better but he wasnt.

Jasons whitey is still a point of complete hilarity. Jace nearly went schitz this morning when Kal said they needed a bong and a blitz.
Jace "Are the girls laughing again?"
Girls- "Yes"

We went to see a peep show but we felt it wasnt hardcore enough. Kal offered a prostitute three euros but she slammed the door in his face. We went to the sex museum, finally found it after N had asked around 7 people. It was quite explicit and we realised we were living a sheltered sex life but we were potentially glad of this..

Obviously KEN can never have a normal day and there is always a story to tell whenever we leave the apartment. Today we fear we might see Blue again and it will not be a coincidence but definately planned by Blue. E is checking to see if Blue is outside.

Day Two.

Quite an okay nights sleep. Emma wanted to set her alaram for 8 but K felt reluctant to arise before 9. Found out we had a free breakfast. Left luggage in hostel, not locked (a worry.) Set off to Anne (Frank) but there was confusion over the trams and ended up going to central with a nice man serving us for tickets. Its raining and Ks hair is ridic. In the queue for Anne and E is wishing she had a raincoat or Kag. Lucky this diary is not in fountain. N is being billo and snacking constantly.

N had a trauma in Anne because she is a billo. Her phone was potentially lost but oh dear silly N it was just in her make up bag (which she had previously checked).We walked to Muts which was nice and K was being map girl. E proved she was the true map expert when directing us to the hotel. I fear I am going to look ridic for the remainder of the holiday. Going to a peep show later, E cant wait. She is excited. E is watching the Disney Channel.

E and K have the best spot (in the room). Poor N. But N broke the bed with no duvet. K suspects N and Colborne will hook up. Also suspects K and E will set that up. We gave the hotel man a "heart attack" when we arrived, potentially cos look so bad.

Quote Nina
"Can I just ask a question...can you hear when you are in the toilet?"
K "Yes"
N hangs head in shame.

Ns gone to get some snacky treats and Kal, Jace and Colbourne are here now, and N instantly brought up her toilet fears. Suspect N has not yet been to the toilet.

N- "No Luck."
E and K "Really?!" (comedy gold at its best.)

After a successful trip to Oh, we headed home to eat. E was on last legs. Ristorante pizzas were def needed at this point. Get back to realise, no, we dont have an oven. K is devastated. K suspects E will become alarmed at the amount K and N eat. I just saw N about to put knickers on infront of everyone.

The Amsterdam Diary: Day One

We are lost and are in Maccys. Shit. You have to pay 30cents to use the toilet, ridic. We are waiting for Emma. Her plane landed at 7:20 but she has yet to make contact (7:29) so may be here for some time as Ns map is with Syl. Silly N. (Angry K).
The people on the plane were ridic. N just burped really loudly, she thinks we are in the flat. N is trying to ring the hostel now, its amusing she's talking really loudly. She just lied saying we were in a cafe, but really we are in Maccys. I think N is ashamed.

Emma arrived safely although she did get off the train too early and had to get back on via a different door so no one knew. We were just chilling out in the room and N has inhabited a strangers bed because it had a guide book on it, and N cannot live on holiday without a guide book. A man entered the room and N startled asked the man if it was his bed she was lying on, initially he answered yes but then spotted Emma across the rook and claimed that that was infact his bed she was on, we are unsure whether if this was actually true or perhaps he just found Emma more attractive.

He then attempted to start a few conversations with, i.e. "Shmoke...?" We just inncocently giggled and carried on our conversation about the Anne Frank museum. All that was left for him to do was roll a joint and make a sandwich with 6 slices of bread. We continued out conversation but E had to try and curb her laughter as the man was slowly and sensually licking each indiviudual finger at a slow pace.

We have bought snacky treats and Emma is picking her nose.


Quotes:
"By the way...would you like an apple?"
Man to Emma as she was going in to the toilet.

Smashed Eggs and The Post War

We have come to realise that there is one person in our flats who is very nasty. This person once left a note above the letter boxes requesting that people tidy up their post and to remind people "this is not a dumping ground". A reasonable request some might say, but as the same person had, on the same night, left another note complaining about Ns bike, we ripped down the post note in anger to make a stand.

Now for a while most people had been abiding by the rules and not leaving the junk mail on top of the letter box but yesterday there was a break through. We had seen that Flat 1 had left a big pile of post there in plain view of everyone. Risky. When we later returned to the flat we saw that someone has taken the whole pile of post and thrown it at their door in anger. I am suspecting a war to emerge.

Other things to note is that I suspect N is loosing her mind. K had given N the one job of watching the pasta while K was out of room for one second. When K re entered, N was paying no attention to the pasta and was in fact not even in sight of the pasta, and the pasta was overflowing on to the stove. Angry K.

Today we decided to have a chill out afternoon having a cider and watching Schlinders List. N had literally had one sip of cider and the next minute she is smashing eggs on the floor. And it wasn't even a normal egg, it was Ks special egg which she had drawn a face on to cheer K and N up whenever they were looking in the fridge in despair.

It seems that N is deteriorating before my eyes as she also has 5+ coldsores. K has one coldsore. This concerns me because it may confirm some neighbours suspicions that K and N are lovers. N added fuel to the fire by going in Sunnys and buying Nuts.

This is a message for Mrs. Trumpton

When the phone rang and I wasn't in, N felt compelled to answer it.

"Is this Mrs Trumpton?" the person on the other end of the line asked. N noted they were female and with an accent.

N "No."

Woman "Are you the owner of the number?"

N (lying) "No."

N hangs up.

So N tells me the story and I suspect that the prank this time may of been made by J. A typical J-like joke, however N was alarmed if it was because the voice was so high pitched. So anyway a few days later N and K were settled down with tea and their film for the night (The Reader) and the phone rings again.

N gets up to answer and I see a look of alarm pass across her face. I ask whats wrong and N is speechless. I begin to get scared. N passes me the phone and I hear "This is a message for Mrs Trumpton. I know you are there. I can see you. I can hear you. See you very soon. From Tony." Terrified by this attack on Mrs Trumpton, some tears were shed by K. N began to look out of the window wondering how they knew she was in here, thinking she was actually Mrs Trumpton herself.

K begins to suspect something is afoot and texts J to see if he knows anything about the mysterious text message to the phone. N checks the number of the text message and it was in fact Js number. We calmed down.

We have declared War on J.

Another mysterious encounter happened last night. We were in Ns room waiting for our pizza to arrive, most likely chatting about the Mrs Trumpton encounter again when we hear a loud banging on the door. We initially ingnore it because no one ever knocks on our door. The banging gets louder so we get up to investigate. N tries to look through the peep hole but can not see anything. We begin to get scared again thinking it was Tony (although a fictional character) and he had put his finger over the peep hole so we could not see. N rings L to see if it is him playing a trick. L says no. We mess about in the hall for a while deliberating over whether to answer it until I, being the braver of the two, open the door (with the chain on) but the door does not open far enough to confirm there was no one there.

We decide to leave it and around 5 minutes later and buzzer goes for the pizza. N is unavailable to go downstairs so I have to risk the dark stairs alone. And I was scared.