Notes on... The Aquatic Centre

To continue in the lifelong quest to be a mermaid, in 3rd year K decided to get a swim pass for the Aquatic. During 2nd year when KLN lived together, K and N used to walk the absolute mission to the pool, get there swim two lengths then go home. On the one occasion L graced us with his presence, K and L had a swim race (K won)then L decided the chlorine was giving him spots and announced he was never going swimming again.

Living somewhat closer in 3rd year it was only a little ten minute walk through the wonder of Hulme to the pool. K became almost obsessed with swimming for a while and was constantly attempting to be in the pool. It was a cruel winter and it became also impossible to go outside for a time as the outer world was basically an ice rink. In a mission impossible to the pool, K was within touching distance of the Aquatic when disaster struck. In a moment of horror, K slipped, then proceeded to skid along the ice, trying to grab on to absolutely anything to end the nightmare. In a sheer moment of desperation, (before the inevitable happened), K happened to grab on to a passer by. This unfortunately turned out to be an elderly woman who was absolutely startled by this act, and nearly plunged toward the ice herself. Meanwhile K was face down on the ice, completely stationary due to pain/ embarrassment (mainly embarrassment). K could already hear laughter and as she decided it was about time to get up, she noticed a small crowd of boys laughing, as well as the additional horror of the old lady attempting to help K up. From this moment on, K decided swimming was only an option if sunny.

K and N had some eventful times in the pool. K and N devised a system where they would "swim and chat" in which they discussed life issues/bantered back and forth on the various people in the pool, giving them hilarious nicknames etc. We were very aware that the majority of the staff there disliked us, as initially we annoyed them by persistently paying by card for the £1.90 swim fee, which basically caused the whole system to crash every time. The life guards I suspect thought we were pathetic as we often attempted to swim in the fast lane, then retreating moments later to the slow lane. The only life guard who liked us was the lesbian one. We had debated over whether it was a male or female initially, coming to the conclusion it was most likely female. So on the only occasion which K and N decided to use the jacuzzi, we got out of the pool in a somewhat Baywatch fashion only to be stared at by her/(him?). We were blitzing in the jacuzzi when K spotted a celebrity also present in there. K tried to secretly motion to N. N smiles and nods. The person in question was none other than Hayley from Coronation Street, an exciting spot I think you'll agree.
Later on in the changing rooms-
K- Can you believe we saw Hayley in the jacuzzi!
N- Who is Hayley?
K- From Coronation Street...she was in the jacuzzi? I tried to tell you with my eyes.
N- I thought you were just smiling at me.
K- Oh.

Notes on... The Met

The met can provide ups and downs. I often experience moments of mass panic on the met. When the inspectors get on, I always get slightly worried I may have misplaced my ticket. I have to try and get it as fast as possible because I hate when the inspectors wait and are secretly suspecting you have not got a ticket. However by far the worst feeling is when you have arrived on the platform and are leisurely in the process of getting a ticket and suddently you hear the met approaching...and then you begin to urgently press the fucking touch screen buttons and they click on the wrong destination and then its here! You are acutely aware of everyone on the met looking at you wondering if you'll make it. Then you still have to wait as the machine takes its sweet time printing the ticket and then the debate over whether to run to get the met...you go for it...it leaves. People laugh/pity you from the warmth and light of the met and you just know its going to be a dark, dark day.

K and N have also witnessed quite a horrific incident on the met. We were initially alarmed when we saw a man get trapped not once, but twice, in the met doors. We laughed, because I dont know how anyone wouldnt. He sat on the set of seats next to us, then out of nowhere, he started having a fit. Alarmed and scared, we did not come to his rescue. We sat there while the met was in silence, everyone looking at him. Finally after about three hours someone, a braver person than I,(who was probs medically trained) helped him. We wanted to stay on the met to see how the drama unfolded but unfortunately we had reached our destination. We got off and never found out what happened, although sometimes we affectionately refer to him as "fit man" although he was by no means an attractive person.

Other incidents on the met include observing three met inspectors who were stood by the door. One of them (the ring leader) had his collar up on his Metrolink high vis coat in an attempt to perhaps be a sort of Cantona type character. One of them was ginger and one was non discript. Erics phone started to ring and Same Jeans by The View was blitzing out. This alerted my attention because I knew any sane human would have been sick of this song and also because it was so loud. Ginger doing a mini dance to the tune in which, I suspect, was an attempt to try and impress me.
Ginger: Whats this song?
Eric: Same Jeans by The View
Ginger: (typing in phone)... Blue Jeans...okay
Eric: Errr yeah. Blue Jeans.

I liked Eric a whole lot more after this.

Notes on... St. Marys Park

98% of the time when I visit the park I look ridiculous. It is on my job list left by Mut that every day I have to walk the dog in the morning, but due to the absolute love for sleep I never get up and always have to dash to the park urgently with G. The majority of the time I slip on Dads fleece, or maybe just roll up my pyjama bottoms and put on some wellies, hoping that in the 3 minute walk to the park I will not see any one I know or recognise.

There is a boy I see in the park every day, possibley because he works there as some sort of Park Ranger. I have a small suspicion he went to my primary school too because he always goes out of his way to smile at me. I am always quite unnerved by this, speculating in the head he may be the next park killer but in reality it is possible he is just alarmed at how hell I really am or maybe just G being naughty.

G's behaviour makes it increasingly annoying to take him for a walk. He pretends he cant hear when you shout him name and embarasses you by ignoring you for such long periods of time you have to approach him to try and put his lead on but then runs off as soon as you get there. Sometimes he also joins other people and I can see him trotting off nearly out of the park as if he is part of their family.

There is also an old man who I see quite regularly in the park and for some reason I know his name is David. We have the exact same conversation every time I see him, and it really does amaze me he STILL does not realise. The conversation goes like this:

David: Ohh, your dog looks old. Is he getting old now?
Kate: Yes
David: Ohh yes. How old is he now?
Kate: About 14 I think.
David: Ohhh! Thats nothing. My Mary is 19 now.
Kate: Wow, really (looks at Mary, who is basically dead)
David: Yeah. They grow old because we treat them right, dont we?
Kate: Yes.

Notes on Prestwich and Leeds

K has been absent from the blog scene for a while. K and N have departed from Hulme and now live seperately much to everyone amazement.

Prestwich has become more ridiculous as of late. There was a murder in the park and there was a man who got hit over the head with a spade in the pub who died. Other news is that a Greggs has been put in to the village and K suspects this may be the new downfall as she wants Gregg to be her lover. Events in the house include Mut wanting to have the dog "destroyed" because he cant behave any more. The family was outraged at this request. E has gone to uni and K and C have become reunited in their quest for peace from Mut.

X factor is starting to take over once again and N told me she thinks C could be a member of One Direction. K is worried about N's love for C because he is only 16 and K knows Ns man eater sex vamp bitch's ways. N once pretended to speculate about who C would marry, suggesting "perhaps someone foreign.." thinking K would be fooled in to believing it was not Ns plan to marry C when the age difference would become acceptable.

K and N went on a trip to Leeds and in summary it has been established they are ridiculous people and N will persist in being PissFrau.